Blame It On The Pain Episode 62
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π§ Blame It On The Pain SIXTY TWO:
Almost a week later Iβm feeling much better, but since Iβm just getting my appetite back, Momma says Iβm still not allowed to live at my bar. Those were her words, not mine.
Jackson has been nothing but attentive and caring. Heβs held me through the night, brought me tissues and magazines, rubbed my feet, and brought me a hot bowl of Mommaβs soup every hour on the hour, even when I could only stomach a few small bites.
He never once made me feel like I was imposing on him and his life. In fact, every time I tried to go back home, heβd sic Momma on me. I learned very quickly that Mommaβs not a person you want to argue with because Iβd be sure to lose every time.
I turn over in the bed and watch Jackson as he sleeps. The mid-morning sun is peeking in through the corner of the curtain giving me just enough light to be able to enjoy the visual of his beautifully sculpted body.
Nothing puts a damper on a coupleβs sx life like being sick. Needless to say, Jackson and I havenβt been able to enjoy one another in that capacity.
But seeing as Iβm feeling almost good as new now. Iβm thinking it might be time to indulge a little.
I brush my lips against the sxy stubble grazing his jaw before making my way down his neck.
When I look up I notice that Jacksonβs eyes are still closed, but the boyish lopsided grin on his face tells me that heβs very much awake.
I kss his chest and continue down lower. I run my to ngue along both sides of the V of his lower abs and I hear him let out a low groan.
That deep groan of his only fuels me on. When I slip my head beneath the sheet, I see just how much heβs awake. I liΒ’k the small drop of precome that I see on the fabric of his bo xers. Deciding to tease him a little, I place my mouth over the material covering his.
I find the opening of his bo xers and flick my to ngue against it, needing to taste him.
Jackson lets out a cusse and raises his hips. I eagerly repeat the movement and he reaches down and twirls my hair around his hand before looking down at me. βAre you sure, baby? I mean, are you feeling good enough for this?β
I nod and pull his bo xers down all the way. I open my mouth, but Jackson hauls me back up and lays me across his chest.
I frown, until he cups my face in his hands and searches my eyes. βYouβre so beautiful it hurts sometimes, did you know that?β
My heart soarsβ¦until I think about how I must look right now. My hair is in the messiest of messy buns, my eyes are puffy, and my nose is raw from all the tissues I went through in the past week.
This is not just some smudged mascara and chapped lips. Oh, no. This is me looking like a cross between a zombie and a corpse.
I bury my head into his chest and cover my face with my hands.
βWow, you really know how to take a compliment,β Jackson says, his voice light with humor.
βI look like I could audition for The Walking Dead right now, Jackson.β
He laughs. βSome of those zombie chicks are pretty hot.β
I take the pillow from my side of the bed and hit him with it.
He wraps me in his arms and I can feel his heart pounding rapidly against my back causing me to lean into him.
He gives my shoulder a kss. βRemind me never to tell you how beautiful you are right when youβre about to wake me up with a bj again.β
I turn slightly and raise a brow. βPlease, you were definitely awake.β
I fling my arms around his neck and breathe him in. βIβm in love with you, Jackson Reid. Youβve ruined me for anyone else.β
He rubs his nose along my jaw. βIβm in love with you. Youβre my first, my last and my only love, Alyssa Tanner.β He looks up at me and my heart flutters. βI want to grow old with you,β he whispers. βI want to let you win at bingo, I want you to help me find my dentures, and I want to spend the evening watching the sunset with you every night from our two rocking chairs.β He rests his head on my heart and my eyes fill with tears. βAnd when I die, youβll be my last thought.
When my life flashes before my eyes, Iβll see nothing but you. Because you already are the very best part of my life.β
βYouβre mine,β I whisper. βFinding you made all the pain Iβve ever endured worth living through.β
I run my fingers through his hair. βWeβll have those rocking chairs, Jackson. I know we will.β
He wipes the tears from my eyes. βYeah, baby. We will. Iβll find a way to make it happen.β
The end of his statement throws me off a little, but Iβm soon distracted by the sound of my phone ringing.
βHey, Shane. Whatβs up?β
βLook, I know youβre still probably sick and I know youβre moving soon, but do you think you can work at the bar for a few hours tonight?β
βOf, course. Itβs the least I can do since youβve been so cool with me being out this week. Wait a minuteββ I pause, unsure if I understood him right. βWhat do you mean Iβm moving soon? Are you kicking me out?β
Beside me, Jackson sits up in bed and puts his boxers back on.
βKicking you out?β Shane sputters. βNo. Iβm talking about you moving in with Jackson, silly.β
I stare at Jackson then, the way heβs avoiding my gaze and the guilty expression on his face tells me everything I need to know. βYeah,β I respond my tone harsher than I intended. βIβll be there at seven.β
βOh, um. Okay, great. See you then,β Shane responds before he hangs up.
I crinkle my nose and narrow my eyes. βSomething you want to tell me?β
Jackson stands up and opens his arms wide. βSurprise, baby.β
I wrap the sheet around me and stand in front of him. βYeah, Iβll say. You know, couples usually discuss moving in with one another. Because both parties have to be in agreement. Thatβs the way a relationship works.β
I open my arms wide, mocking him. βItβs not supposed to be βsurprise, babyβ Iβve told your landlord / boss that youβre moving. Especially when you havenβt even discussed it with your actual girlfriend first!β I shout.
He opens his mouth but I cut him off. βI mean, did you even ask Tyrone about it? Or is he just as in the dark about all this as I am?β
Jackson holds a finger up and opens the door. βYoo, Tyrone,β he calls out.
I stand there with my mouth open in disbelief.
βYeah?β Tyrone shouts.
βIs it cool if Alyssa moves in with us?β
βItβs cool,β Tyrone answers, before adding. βAs long as she cooks every once in awhile.β
Jackson shuts the door and shrugs. βSee? Everythingβs cool.β
Iβm so frustrated I begin stomping my feet on the floor like a 2 -year-old. βAnd what about me? Did you ever think to ask me?β
Jackson scratches the back of his head and pouts. βAre you saying that you donβt want to live with me?β
I open my mouth to answer but he walks over to me and scoops me in his arms. βI thought we just told one another exactly how we felt about each other?β He kisses my cheek. βRemember? Rocking chairs? Sunsets?β He ksses my chin. βBest part of my life?β He ksses my neck. βGreat morning sx?β He moves lower to my bbs and the sheet falls. βHot zombies?β
I roll my eyes and let out a giggle. βItβs a big step, Jackson. We havenβt been together long at all.β
His expression is sad and it pulls on my heartstrings. βAre you saying no?β
I think about this for a moment. I weigh the pros and cons. Proβs being- waking up next to Jackson, his apartment being in a safer area, kssing Jackson, making love to Jackson, falling asleep next to Jackson. The only con I can come up with is that itβs a 20-minute walk away from my job. Unless he expects me to stop working there?
βIβm still working at Finnleyβs,β I tell him.
He looks hopeful. βOf course. I know you like it there. I wouldnβt ever expect you to stop. Only now, Iβll be walking you home every night. Well, if you want me to that is.β
βOkay,β I say.
βOkay?β he repeats. βOkay, like youβll be moving your stuff in soon? Or, okay youβre an asshole and I still canβt believe you sprung this on me?β
βYes. I still hate that you sprung this on me, and I hate that it wasnβt discussed and there was no ro..mantic gesture or anything, but okay Iβll move in with you.β
βThank you.β
Before I can respond he gets down on one knee. I stare at him wide-eyed. βWhoa, too soon. Way too soon!β I start. βDonβt get me wrong, my gut instinct is telling me to say yes, but we canβt get married right now. I need time, Jackson! Like a year or two, at least,β I begin babbling a mile a minute.
He stares at me like Iβm crazy until he looks down and adjusts his position so heβs kneeling down on both knees. βRelax. I wasnβt asking you to marry me,β he says. βNot that I wonβt be asking you to do that at some point in the future,β he quickly says.βBut trust me when I do, it will be way more ro..mantic.β He grins. βAnd itβs good to know that youβll say yes.β
βSo, what are you doing then?β I ask, half relieved, half nervous.
βAlyssa,β he pauses. βSht, you never told me your middle name,β he whispers.
βTrust me. You donβt want to know my middle name,β I tell him.
βOf course, I want to know your middle name. I would tell you mine but Iβm sure you heard Momma shout it last week.β
I bite my bottom lip, wishing I didnβt have to tell him.
Jackson stands back up. βWhat? It canβt be that bad. Let me guess, Marie? Thatβs a nice name, baby.β
I shake my head, not wanting to play this game.
He raises an eyebrow playfully. βIs it Gertrude? Can I call you Gerddy for short?β
βItβs Ford,β I whisper.
βHuh? What the hβll does he haveββ
βThatβs my middle name,β I say, cutting him off. βHe was my dadβs best friend. When they were kids they made a pact that the first one to have a son would be named after the other one. Ford doesnβt have children and since I ended up being a girl, my mom chose the name Alyssa. But my dad still wanted Ford to be my middle name. Iβm sorry, Jackson.β
He ksses my hand. βDonβt be sorry, Alyssa. I love every part of you. Even the parts I donβt always like.β He clears his throat and looks at me. βAlyssa Ford Tanner, would you do me the honor of moving in with me?β
βAnd Tyrone!β Tyrone shouts from the other side of the door.
βAnd Tyrone,β he amends.
My face hurts from smiling so hard. βYes. I would love to,β I say.
I hear Momma and Tyrone cheer from the other side of the door and I canβt help but laugh with them. Jackson pulls me into another hug, but I donβt miss the strange expression on his face.
βWhat?β I ask.
He appears to be lost in deep thought before saying, βYour dad really trusted Ford, didnβt he?β
βYeah,β I whisper. βFordβs an asshole when it comes to the way he treats women. But that aside, my dad trusted him with his life.β
Jackson nods before kissing my forehead. βIβm gonna take a shower.β
βWant some company?β
He doesnβt respond but he pulls me in for a kss that answers my question.
TO Be Continued